What a year 2020 has been. As we bid farewell to the year looking back, it’s been so surreal that it’s hard to even put it in words how grappling this year as been.
It started off as any other New Year – but by March the onset of this virus that we now call Covid-19 started to expose our insecurities and deepest fears. From hoarding food and toilet paper to travel bans and global lockdowns. It has brought out the worst in all of us. News became the main source of information. The spread of Covid-19 outside of Asia made breaking news updates an hourly binge fest. The devastation and loss of so many lives and businesses caused much to global fear and sadness. We have also seen the racial unrest and protests and not to mention the political craziness… What little good news that happened in the world quickly got drowned out by the bad somewhere around the world. This pretty much sums up 2020 for most of us.
2021…
Before we start putting our hopes on 2021 like it’s a reset button. I feel like we should not completely write off 2020 as a full-on disaster of a year and with that, approach 2021 a little more evolved and better equipped with some awareness.
Looking back at 2020, there are so many amazing things that I am so grateful for. I am not going to list out our superficial / material blessings but rather the sucker punches that brought great wisdom and new found gratitude. Here are some of the note worthy lessons I have learned from this year:
Getting Put in “Time-Out”… With My Children
The time the world was put on an official “Time Out”. In the naughty corner of our own homes. This caused various sense of confusion and chaos. My kids have never spend this much time away from school ever! The new reality of being stuck at home with the exception only to get groceries was a new version of scary. How did hanging out at home with our family become scary?
Having to deal with each other’s emotions was scary. It became obvious that we hadn’t yet developed the skills to manage our emotional states especially when those states were based on fear and uncertainty. Memes of managing to live with spouses and an appreciation for school teachers started hitting social media like maybe if we laugh it off it’ll be easier.
One of the biggest situations I had to face was emotionally re-connecting with my family. Realising that I was given more time to spend with my boys rather then thinking of the burden of having to home school them – it altered my perspective on how I can change my perception of reality with just a thought. It took time however to keep reconditioning that thought whenever my boys would argue with each other or start arguing with me. The big picture would be to have the opportunity to build stronger bonds with them during this time – an opportunity handed to you just like that on a platter. Looking back, I am so appreciative of the time spent with them when on a normal week their schedules would be packed with activities.
Facing My Personal “Demons”
When your children starts calling you out of your daily gin o’clocks, you are stuck with the realisation that sooner or later we will have to deal with our problems face to face. This pandemic had me understanding not only with my families personalities but also with myself. Insecure feelings of anxiety, self-pity, jealousy, lack of motivation – or this one.. being angry at the whole world! Wow, no one cares what you are dealing with at this point because everyone is dealing with their own dramas too. Well I had to deal with mine and there was no better time then now. One amazing thing 2020 has given us that I used to complain not having enough of is – Time. We were given physical time now that we didn’t need to run from one appointment to another. How to manage time took some conscious considerations. I realised time spent taking long family walks with the dog was a positive use of time as compared to digital binging. Sitting doing nothing but watching my boys learn to skateboard was 100 times better use of my time then scrolling Instagram feeds.
No one cares what you are dealing with at this point because everyone is dealing with their own dramas too.
Much of my journey in meditation became more rooted during lock down. With daily hour meditations – I started to look forward to the experiences of pure consciousness – checking out of this reality and resting in another. To strengthen our conscious mind in meditation gets you to gradually see the things that I once found problematic slowly fade away.
Dancing to the Beat of My Own Drum
I have a-lot to thank for 2020. In the past, the years would seem to fly by just as fast and as I would find, that even while growing older – I hadn’t gotten any wiser. My intentions would be fixated on keeping up with everyone else. 2020, I have you to thank; You have opened my eyes to understanding what true abundance means, that life is about being in the moment – to consciously being conscious and to dwell deeper inwardly rather then outwardly – no matter how uneasy it might sometimes be. Thank you for the time-outs and thank you for the lessons….